The Legend of Zelda: the Truths and the Dares
by Jack McDack
Summary: You can go ahead and skip this story; I'm never going back to it. The only reason it's on the site is to remind me of how hilariously unfunny I used to be.
1. Pilot 0Note in beginning0

**Hello, Reader of this story. I am, the now named, Jak Attack.**

**I want you to go into this story with a fair warning. You see, this story was made a long, long time ago. This story is horrible. I want you to rest assured that I am now a strict Vanilla Caffene-free user of FFN, as in stories that are actually worth reading and do not violate any rules I can think of. This was made back when I thought of the rules as just optional.**

**I won't delete this story; as much as it has clung to me like an embarrassing tumor, it seems others tend to enjoy it every once in a while, so I son't just flat out delete it. I simply am going to create one more chapter for it, sending it out to rest, and then I am discontinuing it. I may make a continuation of it, with Jak, Naomi, and the Unnamed Character trying to adapt to different styles of life, but it will be an actual story, not an interactive one.**

**If you are one of my fans (of which I like to believe I have), then I am sorry. If you are a new reader, rest assured that I have gotten better at fanfiction, as much as I hate it.**

**None of this has been edited in any way, shape, or form. Without further ado, I give you...**

The legend of zelda: the truth and the dares.

Link: where am i? I was at the training grounds.

Zelda: *sleeping in night gown* snore snore link dont go mumblemumble

Navi: HEYLOOKLISTENHEYLOO- wait were am i? i was annoying a bunch of pre-k-ers.

Ilia: and i decree that you must have a horse to- were am i?

narutofan12345678: typetypetype wathe? o ya im in my fanfic.

Midna: yawn so bored and wereami?

narutofan12345678: your all in my fanfic, and call me Jak, its not my real name but i like the sound of it.

Link: sooooo...watnow?

Twilight: COOKIE!

all: wered she come from?

Jak: she was the one who inspired me to write this, with her story Ask The Zelda Crew. so i need ideas from all you, readers. except you *points at screen* GANNON-DORK LOVER. YOUR AN ABOMINABOBBINIMATION-man thats hard to say-TO ALL MANKIND! is he gone? GOOD I HATE THAT GUY. now for the rest of you, leave questions and dares-especially dares- in your reviews. sorry for short chappie, i need ideas from you guys. also, the 1st 3 people who leave me a message asking to be assisting hosts will be. bye!


	2. The no ideas chappie 0Skippable0

Jak:YES HIGH SCORE ON HALO- wait are we rolling?

Twilight: COOKIE!!!!!

Jak: thats not a cookie thats my hand and it doesnt even look like a co-OW!

Twilight: *spits out Jaks hand* ew that cookie tastes like-

Jak: TWILIGHT IM NOT GOING FOR AN "M" RATING!

Twilight:-poop.

Zelda: were am i?

Jak: my fanfic.

Zelda: and you brought me in my night gown?

Jak: oya 1 sec *brings out keyboard and types*

*poof!*

Zelda: thanks. Whos she? *points at twilight*

Twilight: Im the auther of Ask The Zelda Crew, the fanfic that inspired Jak to write this facfic.

Jak: yep, people send questions and dares for you guys to answer and stuff. its like truth or dare, only the truths and dares come from people all around the world.

Navi: *sleeping* snore HEY snore LISTEN snore LOOK snore

Everyone but Jak and Navi: and you brought navi here becaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaause.....

Jak: cause Ive always wanted to do this *walks up to navi* *gasp* HEYLOOKLISTENHEYLOOKLISTENLOOKLISTENHEYLISTENLOOKISAIDLOOKYOUSTUPIDFAIRYNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAG!!!!

Navi: AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! never do HEY that LISTEN again.

Everyone but Navi: I have ALWAYS wanted to do that.

Jak: ya....well i still need reviews people! ideas dont just fall out of the sky! im getting agerva-*crunch*

Ilia: are you okay?

Jak: ya.....hey somethings carved into this rock waddus it say?

Midna: It says "idea"

Link: i guess ideas do fall out of the sky.

Twilight: what makes ya say that?

Link: theres a storm of rocks with "idea" carved in them falling from the sky.

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*cruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunch*

Zelda: well this couldnt get any worse.

Ilia: ya it could.

Midna: how?

Link: well........we could be navi.

Navi: mmph! mmph! mmphmmph! *dies*

Everyone: YAY NAVI IS DEAD!!!!!

Jak:quick! end the fanfiction berore she comes back!

Everyone: ONLY YOU CAN!

Jak: oya bye and I STILL NEED IDEAS!!!!


	3. ps AWARDS! 0Irrelevent0

Jak:*sleeping* snore snore ya high score snore

Navi: HEY LOOK LISTEN snore

Jak:*still asleep takes f***in bazooka and blows navi up.

Everyone: *wakes up from noise*

Ilia: OH NO! I NEED TO WAKE JAK UP BEFORE HE FORGETS SOMETHING! ITS FUN YELLING! WOOOO!

Jak: woa wahappen?

Zelda: arent ya gonna tell them about your challenge?

Jak: oh ya! *looks at screen* hey ppl of the intrnet(im tawkin in 1337 so u undrstand me) igota challnj 4 u. a screw 1337. the challenge is i put a verse of a song up and if you can get the song right you get a cookie! if you get the auther of the song right you get a jar of cookies!

keybladeboy: hey! you got that idea from me!

Jak: _fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine._ if you can get the song right you get a **CUPCAKE** if you get the auther of the song right you get a **PLATTER OF CUPCAKES.** happy now?

keybladeboy: ya sure watever.

Jak: okay here are the lyrics to one of the songs verses

**up, up down, down left, right left, right b a start**

**just because we use cheats doesnt mean we aint smart.**

Jak: well theres a little more but it has the song title in the part so consider wat i just said a hint. plus if you dont know the code used at the 1st part of it its the konami code it was a cheat for like every game produced by konami back in the NES era. bye!


	4. FIRST REVIEW SPECIAL! 0Skippable0

Twilight: yay your first review is from me, jak!

Jak: YAY! alright no ones answed the question in chappie 3, but im still doing this chapter. okay, the review *looks at review* wow this is long. well time to re-

Twilight: MY COOKIE! *engulfs review*

Link: whydja eat the review?

Twilight: It was a cookie IM NOT PARANOID WICH 1 OF MI ENEMIES TOLD YOU THAT! WAS IT YOU?!?! *points at pizza crust* DIE 4 TELLIN EVRY1 I LIKE PIE YOU PIECA OF KILNDEJUAS! *f#%in NUKES crust, sumhow not killing everyone*

Everyone: *backs...away...slooooooooooowly.*

Jak: well without a review we cant do this chap-

Twilight: i can tell you my review. here it goes:

Yay! I'm a co-host! I never really thought I inspired someone. And because of your dilema I will help by reviewing an extra long review!

Link: I want you to go kiss Zelda  
Eat a live eel  
Watch me burn down your house  
And tell everyone in the world you sleep in Zelda's nightgown!

Zelda: When LInk kisses you take him in a closet for a moke out session  
Slap him when you hear him say he sleeps in your nigthgown  
And tell Ilia that horses are extinct

Ilia: Go emo  
Tell Midna to do the same because the look suits her  
Get my dragon Rianix to come and eat Link alive  
And also let me stlye your hair

Midna: Do you have a life?  
If so why do you INSIST on being Link's shadow? Do you like to look up it sometimes or what?

And I shall now say this: ...Wait NO! I FORGOT!

Ok whatever ...LINK...i forgot what I was going to say...bye now!

Twilight: huff...huff...

Link: i can live with that first dare *takes zelda into closet*

Ilia:gonna rig it with a camra:

Jak: aleady did

Everyone: *goes and watches video*

Video: link and zelda are makin out. they both fall down *its a walk in closet* they both stop, look at each other and say "not bad" at the same time. thay were about to start again WEN AN ELEPHANT BARGED IN AND RUI-

Twilight: *whack* OW!

Jak: thats the last time i let you type while im in the can! now gimme the keyboard back!

Video:They kiss. They kiss like it was the end of the world, like it was their last chance to kiss.

Jak: how bout it?

Everyone: What the heck?

Jak: wha- oh no TWILIGHT STOP TYPING!

Twilight: *typing* and before she knew it she was unbuttoning his tunic and-*whack* *talking* OW!!!

Jak: *holds hand out*

Twilight: *gives keyboard*

Jak: thank you LINK AND ZELDA STOP WAT YOUR DOING AND COME OUT!

Link and Zelda: *come out exhausted, grins on their faces*

Jak: your not gonna grin when you see this *holds dare*

Link: *looks* do i HAVE to?

Jak: in short: yes. in long: yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees.

Link: _fiiiiine._ *eats eel*

Jak: *gags*

Everyone: *gags*

Midna: WAIT, ive learned from Twilights story. *gets umbrella* okay letterip

Everyone: *throws up on midnas umbrella*

Link: *shivers* gross *throws up on midna*

Midna: oh COME ON!

Link: i think it was an electr-*asplodes*

Jak: keyboard *types link bak to life*

Link: *gets strapped to a chair*

Twilight: yeeeeees *burns down his treehouse*

Link: YAY THANK YOU LOOOOOOORD!!!

Twilight: why so seriou-i mean-happy?

Link: i put navi in their before you burned it!

Navi: HEYLOOKLISTENHEYL_OOOOOOOOOoooooooooo_*trails off as she dies*

Everyone: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Link: *looks at next dare* but i dont wanna!

Jak: keyboard *typetypetype*

Link: *megaphone that goes through every speaker in the world* i sleep in zeldas nightgown.

Zelda: *slap* Ilia, horses are dead.

Ilia: NOOOOOO! urge...to..cut...wrists..and...listen...to...linkon...park...

----------2 SECONDS LATER-----------

Ilia: *emo*

Midna: that was fast.

Jak: oya 1 sec *typetypetype*

Midna: *emo*

Twilight: *lmfao*

Jak: this is GOLD! but i gotta change it back. *typetypetype*

Everything: *back to normal*

Midna: *looks at truth* yes, i have a life, im links shadow to help him when he needs it, and i have no idea what the last part means so if you could elaborate, id be happy to tell you.

Jak: Sweet that wraps this chapter up. just got a couple announcements. first: just cuz me aqnd twilight are the hosts doesnt mean we dont like dares put on us, so if you gotta dare for me or twilight, post it. second, WELCOME TO THE FANFIC SARIA!

Saria: hi!

Everyone: *gives saria hug*

Jak: and.....thats it. bye!


	5. FIRST REVIEW SPECIAL PART 2! 0Skippable0

Jak:welcome to FIRST REVIEW SPECIAL PART 2!!!! ill cut the crud and get to the review:

Welcome Saria! (gives bear hug) Now I am back!

(out of review) Saria: *gasp* aaaaairrrrr......(back to review)

Link! Umm...Go and give Zant flowers and say you love him!

Zelda: Get in a fist fight with Zant because he took your man

Midna: Heres a pencil, go wild

Ilia: You and Saria have to go to a strip culb!

Jak: I WANT RIANIX! . and also give me military weapons!

Saria: I want you to go out with Link (i think they are a cute pair too)

And for me...i dare myself to go and eat chocolate while watching T.v! (anime)

Twilight: *wips out phone and texts someone*

Jak: Zant?

Twilight: Zant.

Link: Zant? *looks at review* Zant! *looks at door which Zant is coming from* _Zaaaaaaant......_

Zant: WHERES THE CUTIE-WUTIE NAMED LINK THAT LOVES ME? *looks at Link* LINKY-WINKY!!!

Link: ...*whips out lazer gun and blasts zant*

Jak: I can live with that outcome.

Twilight: I cant *brings Zant back to life* Zelda?

Zelda: *bets mega-huge-metal-plated-spiked-awesomeniss-boot and kicks Zant in the BAWLS*

Zant: *dies*

Twilight: Well...I can live with that. NEXT!

Midna: Whats this _pennnn-sillll_? *looks at tip* Pointy on one side...*looks at eraser and chews on it*...and chewy on the other. This. Is. The. Best. Invention. Ev. Er.

Jak: *looks at next dare and grins*

Link: *does the same and shows Ilia and Saria dare*

Jak, Link, Ilia, and Saria: *Go out*

-lX 4 hours and $400 later X1-

Jak, Link, Ilia, and Saria: *come back with grins*

Jak: Next dare *looks at dare* ok first part: yes, as long as he meets my talking wolf, Leo

Both hosts: *wistle*

Both pets: *come*

Jak: Next part: yes on one condition. You must fight the three things so terrifying...

Twilight: *shivers*

Jak:...so treacherous...

Twilight: *whimpers*

Jak:...so evil...

Twilight: *eyes tear up*

Jak:...that even The Man himself (Chuck Norris) is scared of them. *types twilight into caged arena* W-W-W-WELCOME LADIES AND GENTS TO EXTREME DEATH-CAGE-AWESOMENISS MATCH XIV(forteen)!!!!! IN THE RED CORN-AHH!!! SHES 5-FOOT-6, HER WEIGHT IS CLASSIFIED, AND IF SHE HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN POWER OVER THE WORLD OR A QUARTER, SHED HAVE A GUMBALL 5 MINUTTES LATER, ITS TWILIGHT!!!!!

Twilight: Hi!!!!!!!

Jak: IN THE BLUE CORN-AHH!!!! SHES, LIKE, 3 FEET TALL, WEIGHS 50 POUNDS, AND SERIOUSLY NEEDS GLASSES, ITS DORA THE EXPLORA!!!

Dora: Will you tell me when i beat the sh*t out of this b*tch? *stares into space for 10 seconds* GREAT!!

Jak: right....IN THE YELLAH CORN-AHH!!!!! SHES GOD KNOWS HOW OLD, GOD KNOWS HOW FAT, AND SHES PROBABLY ON YOURE LITTLE SISTERS NOTEBOOK, ITS HELL-oooooOOOOOOAAAA KITTY!!

Hello Kitty: *eyes turn red and turns head around 360 degrees*

Jak:...freaky...AND IN THE GREEN CORN-AHH!!!!!! HES 1 FOOT TALL, WEIGHS 20 POUNDS, AND HES ON CABLE MONDAY THROUGH THURSDAY, ITS EL-MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Elmo: Elmo like big Bazewka to BLAST THAT B*TCH TO H*LL!!!!!!

Jak:_Riiiiiiight....._alright I want a nice bloody fight. Elmo gets a bazooka, Hello Kitty gets a chainsaw, Dora gets a military nuke, and Twilight gets a pea shooter.

Twilight: You WHAT!?!?!!? I CANT (censored) BELIEVE YOU (censored) GAVE (censored) DORA AND ELMO AND (censored) HELLO KITTY THE (censored) GOOD WEAPONS AND ME THE (censored) PEA (censored)-ER WHAT THE (censored) JAK YOURE A (cccccccccceeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnsssssssssoooooooooorrrrrrreeeeeeeddddddddd)

-one super-awesome battle later-

Jak: And the winner is.....O_O

Everyone: What? *look at winner* O_O

Link: No.

Saria: Freakin.

Midna: Way.

Jak: Twilight ?!?!?!?!?

Twilight: Yep.

Jak: How-

Twilight: Dora nuked the arena and i hid behind a led shield.

Everyone: Ooooohhhh.....

Jak: Next!

Saria and Link: YES!!!!!

Jak: *poofs them to a fancy restaraunt*

-1 hour lat-ahh...-

Link and Saria: *come back* whoa.....good kisser....

Jak: Next Dare *looks at dare* fine, but if you destroy humanity and the world as we know it, Im not your friend anymore.

-5 hours lat-ahh...-

Twilight: WEENODONTGOTHERENARUTOYOUSHOULDNTBELIEVEITCAUSEHESLYINGNOYOUSTUPI-*falls asleep*

Jak: Ummm......bye I guess.....

Everyone: Bye.


	6. FIRST REVIEW SPECIAL PART 3! 0Skippable0

Jak: Okay......welcome to FIRST REVIEW SPECIAL PART 3.....no one else will review me back.....*tear*....lets just get to the review..._ Im so lonely..._

BWAHAHAHAHAH! FUNNY! I loved it! MORE REVIEWS FROM ME!

Everyone: (shudders)

Saria: I LOVE YOU! YOU ARE SO AWSOME! (hands her chains) Do whatever you want to Link with these

Zelda: Could you go and like...i dont know...buy me a thousands huskies? THEY ARE THE CLOSEST THINGS TO WOLVES THE GOVENMENT WILL LET ME HAVE!

Link: Fall in love and get married to an apple

Ilia: ...Eat sushi for all I care

Midna: You're cool too. Um...here, have this (hands her paper) Use that with the pencil

Jak: Watch anime with me

Me: GO eat chocolate while watching anime with Jak

BYE BYE!

-AnimeWolfGirl (Twilight)

Twilight: Hey! Its from me again! wooo!!!

Jak: Yes....your the only one that sees the good in me....*hugs Twilight sadly* _I have no social life.....*sob*_

Ilia: Awww.....GROUP HUG!

Group: *hug* (A/N lol)

Jak: Thanks......on to the tor-CHAAAA!!!!! *wips out keyboard and types link into a dress just for laffs.*

Saria: *gets chain* now I bet you all expect me to do.....activities......with link with these. But I have a new use for this. *throws chain at Links....area....*

Link: OxO .....*high squeaky voice* ...._help...._

Jak: Yeah. *restores Links manhood*

Link: *normal voice* thanks

Zelda: *looks at dare* sure, but knowing you, Im not even sure the goverment permits you to have even huskies. But theyre _soooo cute!!_ *buys a thousand huskies*

Everyone: _Awwwww!!!_

Jak: Wait, Link, YOU said aww to? I mean, Im more in touch with my feminin side, so I said aww, but-

Link: Look, It doesnt matter how many baddies i kill, no matter how many times i save zelda, no matter how maqny women i attract, no matter how badass i am, I_ cant resist a puppies face!_

Jak: Well, I hope you cant resist this apples face, cuz you gotta marry it.

Link: Fine

Jak: Great! Now to discriptionize the whole experience, but....laziness....taking...over...MONTAGE!!!

Montage:...First sight...dating...marrige...weird apple-link children....dying together.

Jak: *types link back to life* *sniff* she was so beautiful...._but even she never loved meee....._NEXT!

Ilia: *reads dare* WHAT!? I cant eat the poor little fishies!

Jak: Usually Id say "too bad'' and force feed you fish, but I agree with you there. That, and Im flat broke to go to a sushi restaurant, and I suck at fishing.

Twilight: NO! FISHY! *types up a fish outta water*

Fish: Hey! Whats the big Idea? I was having Sushi with my girlfrie- actually I was having Sushi OUT OF my girlfriend.

Saria: Thats cold.

Fish: No, she was hot.

Jak: Just get eaten by her *points at Ilia*.

Fish: NO! *goes kung-fish on Ilias ass*

Ilia: *dead*

Jak: I can live with that outcome. NEXT!

Midna: Aww, Thanks! *gets paper* ooooooo! Oh navi! Ive got the latest issue of nags montly: Extra nagly!

Navi: CoHEYol! Ive beLISTENen waiting foLOOKr that isWATCHOUTsue!

Midna: *drapes paper over navi to spare the gruesome sight* STABBYSTABBYRIPPYSTAB! *STABBYSTABBYRIPPYSTABs Navi*

Jak: Thats one use for a pencil. NEXT! *looks at last dares* sure, but I want chocolate to, and were watching-My favorit- Naruto!!!1!!

..::5 mins lat-ahh::..

Jak and Twilight:YAYNONOTTHERENARUTOYESTHERESTOPSAYINGBELIEVEITITSGETTINGANNO-*asleep*

Everyone else:so wat now?

Link: Umm....since Jak is currently unavailable, Ill host for the last second. Sooo....bye!


	7. Im not alone anymore! 0SemiSkippable0

Jak: *sniff* Ive got more readers......Im not lonely anymore!!! Just because you two are new reades, You two get special slots on my co-host section!! Please welcome: 1st: Auther513!!

Auther: Yo.

Jak: And 2nd: phantomlink959!!

Phantom: Sup.

Jak: So now we got more peope to torture the zelda crew!

Zelda crew: *sigh*

Twilight: Shut up or imma go Chuck Norris on your *ss!

Jak: Riiiiiiight.....

Thanks to Twilight for faving this story so I could find it. These ask fics and Truth and Dare fics get buried quick.

Anyways, I am a very rational and logically minded person... why is the Zelda cast sighing in relief? Don't those imbeciles know that means instead of embarissingly silly dares im going to horribly gruesome and torturous things to them?

Anyways dares:

Link: Find your way through a maze of firewalls (see Fire Temple in OoT for reference) blinded. (Call a paramedic, tell them they will be treating severe burns)

Zelda: Fight Lucy from Elfin Lied. (Somebody get a mop, this is going to be messy)

Saria: Your spared... for now.

Midna: Same as Saria.

-Auther513

Midna and Saria: Whew!

Auther: Oh-ho-ho! I said for now!

Midna and Saria: *shudder*

Jak: the answer to your first part of the review is......I dunno.

Link: Wait, what?

Jak: *shoves link into maze of firewalls blinndfolded*

Auther: Didja call the paramedics?

Jak: No, theyd spoil all the fun.

Link: *comes out on fire*

Phantom: Quick! Someone douse the fire!

Jak: Im on it. *pours gasoline on link*

Link: IT DIDNT HELP!!!!

Twilight: Try something else!

Jak: *pours Acid on link*

Link: *discinigrates*

Jak:....Keyboard! *types link back to life*

Keyboard: Stop calling me that. My names frank.

Jak: Sorry. next Dares.

Ilia:go a week without obsessing over epona  
Link:dont save zelda from ganondorf for 1 year  
Saria:break your favorite ocarina  
GanondorfL:save 15 people from their impending doom  
Navi:dont talk for 10 years

-phantomlink969

Ilia: Okay.

Jak(1 week later):3.....2.....1.....now.

Ilia: *gasp* **LINKWHATDIDYOUDOTOSCRATCHHERSHESHOULDNTEATCHOCOLATETHATLATEYOUDONTKNOWHOWTOTAKECAREOFHERTHATMALEHORSEDID**

**WHAT****WITHHER!?!?!?!?!?!?!**

Phantom: O_O........wow.......

Link: *looks at his dare* SWEET A VACATION OYA! *flies to hawaii*

Zelda: NOOOOoooo....*gets carries off by gannon*

Twilight: Rigged cameras in their room.

Jak: Yep:

---Gannon and Zelda---

Zelda: wha....where am I?

Gannon: My lair. Again. You wont believe the fun were gonna have....:3

---5 minutes later---

Gannon: *playing barbies horse adventures* Sweet! I just found pretty penny horse! Im- On- Fiyahhhh!!!

Zelda: Please kill me.

---Out of video---

Everyone: *busts out laughing*

Twilight: Heh...Okay, now to Link.

---Link---

Link: *walks in with a girl in bikini* So, youre Naomi?

Naomi: Yep! And youre really Link from Zelda?

Link: Yep

Naomi and Link: *censored*

---Out of video---

Everyone: Oh god thats not right!

Jak: *takes out bazooka and blasts Video to kingdom come*

Everyone: whew...

*one year lat-ahh...*

Everyone: *back in the room*

Link: Everyone this is Naomi.

Naomi: Hi!

Link: Shes up to be dared if you want to dare her.

Saria: *looks at dare* Sorry. I did that when I was 5.

Jak: CURSES! Mine and keybladeboy's only nemisis-Besides Hello Kitty-FACTS!! next!

Gannon: *looks at dare* Fiiiiiiiine.

Person 1: The Captain (God of War)

Kratos: *pulls the captain halfway up*

Captain: Thank you! May the Gods bless you!

Kratos: I didnt come for you.

Gannon: But I did. *stabs Kratos and helps Captain up*

Game: GAME OVER

Kid at home: (censored)

Jak: Laziness....taking...over...MONTAGE!

---One super-awesome-to-lazy-to-write-about-montage later---

Navi: *looke at dare*....................................................................................................................................................................................................................

.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

..................................................................HE-

Phantom: FAILED!!! *whips out button and presses it, effin NUKING Navi*

Jak:...Well bye!


	8. the power of friendship will save you!

Jak: *wakes up slowly* Ahh...what a lovely morning. The sun is shining, (shine shine) The birds are chirping, (chirp chirp) Navi is duct taped, (muffled muffled) And Naomi is sleeping next to m-Get your own bed *shoves Naomi off*

Naomi: I _Diiiiiid,_ in Hawaii. I gave it up for fame.

Jak: Whatever, Make me a panwich.

Naomi: A wha?

Jak: *holds fist up* Pancake. *puts one finger up* Sandwich *put another finger up* Go.

5 hours la-tahh...

Saria: Ah...AHH!!!

Link: Im to skilled for you. Maybe I should quit.

Saria: No...dont...stop...

Link: Im kinda goin to hard on ya...

Jak: Were he- OMAGOD!!!

Link and Saria: *playing chess* what?

Jak: CHESS!?!?!

Ganon: Yep. We were bored.

Jak: Obviously!!!

Naomi: Lets Just start.

Twilight, Jak, Auther, and Phantom: **THATS MY LINE!!!** *tackle Naomi*

Looks around

Wait what am I supposed to be doing again? Oh yeah i remember!

(gives everyone branches) go wild (falls asleep)

-AnimeWolfGirl (Twilight)

Zelda: *poking twilight with her stick (okay, that didnt sound right)* Shes sleepy.

Phantom: She didnt get much sleep last night, Like me.

Auther: Of course they didnt

Jak: **OH, SNAP!!** *hi fives Auther*

Everyone: Whadda we do with these? *hold up sticks*

Jak: Use your- *makes rainbow with hands*-imaaaginaaaaaaaaatiooooooooooon.

Midna: Why cant you give us Ideas?

Jak:Questions, questions, questions ITS ALWAYS QUESTIONS WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!!

Link: *beating up Zelda* I ALWAYS SAVE YOU!!! BUT DO _**IIIIII**_ GET A REWARD? NO! NOT A KISS, HUG, INVITE TO YOUR BIRTHDAY, NOT EVEN A "THANK YOU"

Zelda: *dead*

Saria: *poking Zelda with a stick* She's dead.

Jak: Im proud of you, Link. *turns Link around to Saria and shoves him toward her, they make out* NEXT!!!

Yay im a host ok um

Link:switch places with zelda she has to save you  
zelda:switch places with link  
Ganondorf:give up the triforce of power after link and zelda finish the role reversal  
Ilia:ride epona while using spurs to make her run faster  
Saria:go on a date with Mido  
Midna:here is a mace and zant do what you will  
Navi:dont say hey look or listen for the entire chapter do this one before the others  
Naomi:go away and never come back

-phantomlink959

Jak: Damn, I wanted her to stay dead. Keyboard! *types Zelda back to life*

Zelda: Don't *slaps Link*

Link: Ow.

Zelda:Ever *slaps Link

Link:Ow.

Zelda:Kill *slaps Link*

Link:Ow.

Zelda:Me *slaps Link*

Link:Ow.

Zelda:AGAIN!!!!! *you get one guess to figure out what she does*

Link:Ow.

Jak: Now then. You two have to-

Phantom: *elbows Jak* Look at the almost last dare.

Jak: *does so* You freakin' idiot.

Phamtom: What?

Jak: You left out "watch out".

Navi: **WATCHOUTWATCHOUTWATCHOUTWA**-

Jak: For. The. Love. Of. God. Shut. Freakin'. Up.

Twilight: You have **ONE** second to shut up before I go all "creeped out housewife" on youre ass.

Navi: *shuts the f#$ up.*

Jak: Thank y-the hell? you where just knocked out a second ago.

Twilight: Um...Im...a ghost? I was sent here or something?

Jak: Yeah. Not buyin' it.

Twilight: No seriously! Im a ghost!

Jak: Yeah, _suuuuuuuuuure._

Twilight: Uh......**FINLAND BE FRIENDLY!!***is knocked out*

Jak:O...k...

Link and Zelda: *Look at their dares* I HAVE TO SWITCH PLACES WITH HIM!!!

Zelda: *Death glares at Link*

Link: *has just made the biggest mistake of his life*

Jak: Sucks to be you, dude, sucks to be you.

One kick-ass place-swapping that Im to lazy to write about later...

Zelda: Wow, How can I cram all of this into my pockets?

Jak: I dunno. Hey Gannon, Gimme your triforce power so I can kill you!

Gannon: Uh, No?

Jak: What th- oh yeah, you're new to the dare thing. Hmm...I wonder...well, It works for keybladeboy. AUTHER POWERS!! *hypnotizes Ganon into giving Jak his triforce power and pushes him off a cliff*...yeah, he's screwed.

Keybladeboy: *appears out of nowhere* Whydja push him off a cliff?

Jak: Because...because...becaouse I could, okay?

Keybladeboy: I am proud of you, my jackass-in-training.

Jak: *kneels* Master.

Keybladeboy: Now I must be off. but first...*snaps Ilia's neck and takes her chocolate* mine. *disappears*

Jak: I wonder...AUTHER POWERS!!!

In the land of soulcalibur 3...

Kilik: *fighting Nightmare* As long as I have Soul Calibur as my weapon, I can defeat you! *Soul Calibur disappears* Yep. Im screwed.

Nightmare: Now Evil shall rule the land!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*hack* *cough* *choke* Man...Even I cant handle the power of my evil laugh...

Back at my house

Jak: *holding Soul Caliber* Sweet!! oh wait...I should probly give this back...*opens portal to Soulcalibur world* Hey Kil-*sees Kilik almost dead* Well now, thats the complete opposite of good. Here *tosses Kilik Soul Calibur*

Kilik: *Grabs it and kills Nightmare and the Soul Edge* May the gods bless you!

Jak: Thanks. *closes portal* Next dare. *looks at Ilias dare while reviving Ilia* Id do that for a dollar.

Ilia: What? *looks at dare* I wouldnt.

Jak: Well its a good thing you're not getting paid is it? Now go.

Ilia: No.

Jak: Yes.

Ilia: No.

Jak: Yes.

Ilia: No.

Jak: No.

Ilia: Yes.

Jak: Ha!!!

Ilia: Wait, what?

Auther: Looney-toons-pwned.

Jak: Dude thats the first thing you said all chappie.

Auther:Um...Forget it.

Jak: Anyway. Auther powers!! *forces Ilia to ride Epona with spurs* This is so cool!!

Keyboard: *In a corner crying*

Jak: Um...*walks over to keyboard* Its OK. Id never replace you. *both look at each other*

_A friend is a friend till the end of the end thats forever_

_not today_

_stay by my side until we say goodbye for today_

_cuz thats what friends do (thats what friends do)_

_oh thats what friends do-o-o-o (thats what friends do)_

_cuz thats wh_-

Jak: **TURN OFF THAT RADIO!!!**

Link: Sorry.

Jak: Okay, Im gonna go to the last review, dont worry, I'll do the other dares later.

(gasp) I DIDNT REVIEW! T__T I'm sad now.

Ok Link I just recently watched some gruesom anime. And I mean GRUESOM. So Go die by getting your head split open with a hatchet by me!

All the girls: Laugh at his fate then run away in terror as i try and kill you.

Jak: Just TRY and stop me (demented face)

That's all I got for now bye!

-AnimeWolfGirl

Twilight: *wakes up* Urge...to...kill...Link..**DIE LINK DIE!!!**

Link: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!*head is split open*

All the girls: HHAHAHAHA HE DIEDED!!!!!

Twilight: And you will to!

All the Girls: AAAAHHHH!!! *run away*

Jak: HALT!!! NONE SHALL PASS!!!

Twilight: *grabs military nuke*

Jak: Oh sh(bleep)t. **FLEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!**

Twilight: *hits nuke button*

World: *asplodes*

Jak: *is alive somehow* Hmm...Neither keyboard nor auther powers can fix this alone...but _together..._*types and uses auther powers to save world*

Twilight: Okay, The nuke might have been too much.

Jak: Ya think? Okay, now, Im having a poll on what my catchphrase should be for this fanfic, and I used all of the available ones in this chappie alone. Lates!


	9. No, Naomi isn't leaving

Jak:**WHEEEEEEEW...** Im relieved.

Link: Why so?

Twilight: *comes in with knife wound* Hi Guys!!!

Jak: Yeah, she got a knife wound to say the least. Go to her Story "Ask the zelda crew", chapter 18, and read the intro. I recently got a pm from her saying she was ok. Eh, basicially, anyway. So Im gonna forget about it and use auther powers to make zelda get me a sammich. *does so*

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

5 seconds la-tahh

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jak: *still using auther powers and keyboard to do stuff* Im loving this so much!!! *forces Ilia, Saria, and Zelda into bikini's* Wow...*drools along with link, phantom, and auther*

Naomi: Hey! What about me? Im pretty hot in a bikini!

Boys: *ignoring her*

Naomi: *Takes out huge-ass sword* Listen. to. me.

Link: Oh sh- wait, whered you get the sword?

Jak: well...

xxxxxxxx

flashback

xxxxxxxx

_Jak: Naomi, theres a couple reviews that involve you leaving the fanfic._

_Naomi: Why so much Naomi hate?_

_Jak: Im guessing its not cuz youre strong._

_Naomi: So what do i need?_

_Jak: Why, you need a big-ass sword of corse! *hands her sword* go crazy._

xxxxxxxxxxxx

end flashback

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Phantom: Dude...I saw your flashback.

Jak: Yeah. Lets start before she kil-*looks at zelda's decapitated head* to late.

XD! I'M DIEING OF LAUGHTER! Well mostly because of the end. :P and Um to make the burden easier I shall write smaller reviews!

(licking the blood off her hatchet) What? Oh yeah Link go bury the bodies of the people I killed and make sure you dont get caught

Zelda: (she's not here I wonder why?) (evil face)

Ilia: Um yeah I dont know. Watch girl ** for all I care

Saria: Do the same as Ilia

Midna: Go take a nap

And the rest of the authors (besides me)I WILL KILL YOU! (swings her giant hatchet)

-AnimeWolfGirl

Ilia: Oh no! *gets the zappy things that doc's use* CLEAR!!!

Twilight: Touch me and I kill you.

Ilia: sorry. Um...*zaps Jak*

Jak: Ow. Nothin like 10,000 volts to start your day.

Ilia: Its noon.

Jak: Whatever. Link, bury These bodies. *points to

Link: Gladly. *looks around* um...wheres Zelda?

Jak: Who knows, who cares.

Link: Tuchei. *buries bodies*

Ilia: HEY!!! Im an important person!

Auther: *whispers to Jak and Phantom* Not really no.

Jak and Phantom: *hi fives Auther*

Saria: Y'know, Im important to.

Jak: That I agree with. And anyway, Im to lazy to write that. Anyway. Midna. Nap. Now.

Midna: *already napping, waking up* Huh...wha...sleepy time...*falls back asleep*

Twilight: I KILL YOU!!! *swings hatchet*

Jak: No, bad Twilight!!!

Twilight: *sits down near Jak, whimpering*

Jak: *pats Twilights head and gives her steak*

Twilight: *devours steak*

Link: O....kay....Next review...

Aly:Torture,YAY!Jak,I Like you to meet Tatzu from my super smash bros brawl truth or !  
Tatzu:*comes in*WHAT!?!  
Aly:Another ToD with Link,Zelda,and Ganondorf.  
Tatzu:WHAT WHERE I MUST KILL THEM*pulls out chainsaw*(Tatzu really hates Zelda,Link,and Ganondorf)  
Aly:You watched friday the 13 did you?  
Tatzu:*Evil smile,nods*

Dares:  
Midna:Your cool so,You are immune for 2 chapters,go watch Transformers:Rise of the fallen(AWESOME MOVIE!)with one person you want :D  
Link:Be blasted by Fox Mccloud's LandMaster!(if you do not know Fox,Twilight blow him up)  
Zant:Be DESTROYED by Chuck Norris!  
Ganondork:DIE BY MY BAZOOKA!you should run now(as soon as he runs He will be blown up)  
Ilia:*hands Time bomb*Defuse bomb NOW!  
Naomi:Here have a cookie for coming to the show(Don't tell her that it had poison,and toxic waste,that will kill her and put her out the story!)  
Zelda,Link,Ganondork:as you see in the intro of dare and ending Tatzu REALLY hates you 3!  
Link & Zelda:(After link is revived)Quick Tatzu is trying to kill you 2,quick into the shelter for an hour!(do not tell them Tatzu is in there with katayama(blade of fire),and guns!)  
Jak:can I pwease be in the story*does puppy dog face*  
Malo,Talo,Mido,Collin,Saria,Ilia,Link,Postman,Ganondork,Zelda:(After Ilia,Zelda,Link,and ganondorf is revived)Fight Sonic,Shadow,Blaze,Silver,Omega,Espio,Naruto,Sasuke,Itachi,Dedara,Garra,and Solid Snake!NO TRIFORCE,AND No powers Ganondorf and Zelda.  
Jak:Uh-Oh,Tatzu(My OC)seems really P.O and he just watch friday the 13 and is coming to kill the Zelda crew,Quick you,Phantom,Auther,and Midna come in the deluxe shelter with me,Tetsu,Fox,Meta Knight,and Lucario it has everything you need(Food,water,shelter,emergency kit,5 Star chief,butlers,indoor pool,etc.)BTW he after Link first(after revived),see you in Deluxe shelter!

Aly:Hey where's Tatzu?*see's Zelda's chopped off head and Tatzu cornered a scared Link and Ganondorf*Oh...  
Link & Ganondorf:*cornered by Tatzu*T-Tatzu p-please d-don't k-kill us!  
Tatzu:*lifts Hockey Mask off,grins evilly*Why so serious?*readys chainsaw,smiles evilly*Let me put a smile on that face!(Link and Ganondorf's Screams are heard)

~ShadowWolf 2.X(See I put my name here to help you out:D)

Jak: Thanks for puttin your name there. It helps. You get a cookie.

Aly: Thanks!!

Jak: And you get to be in the story. The more the torture-er!! I mean merrier.

Ilia: Joy.

Midna: (btw she's in imp form) Yayz!!! thank you SOOOOO much!! *hugz Aly's leg* Hmm...I choose...

Jak's mind: _Pick me!! I wanna see the movie again!! it was soooo cool!!_

Midna: Link.

Jak: Well Im still going with you to uh...Im just going!!! *snaps fingers, him, Midna, and Link are at movie*

Aly: So heres the deal, Fox. Link...uh...called your final smash stupid or something.

Fox: ...*twitch*..*twitch*...**HE WILL SUFFER THE FATE SO TERRIFYING NO MAN CAN SURVIVE **(besides Chuck Norris) **AS HE WILL BE BLASTED BY MY LANDMASTER!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA***lighning crackles***HAHAHA***hack* *cough* man I gotta stop using my evil laugh.

Aly: Yay! Hug time!

Fox and Aly: *hugglez*

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

at the theater...

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Link: *watching movie*

Midna: *asleep*

Jak: *eating popcorn*

Fox: *blasts Link with landmaster*

Link: *flies off team rocket style*

Jak and Midna: *still doin what theyre doin like nothin happened*

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

2 hours la-tahh

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jak: And were back! Didja miss us?

Ganon: Yyyyyeeeeea-nonotreallyno.

Midna: Glad to know were loved.

Jak: Anyway, Zant, enter Chuck Norris. *snaps fingers*

Chuck Norris: This had better be worth my time, my pupil.

Twilight: WHOA!!!

Phantom: I did NOT see that coming.

Jak: Yes, I am a Jackass-in-training by keybladeboy, *snaps Ilia's arm off and kills Navi* A falcon paunch-er-in-training by Capton Falcon, *salutes to Falcon* and a roundhouse-kicker-in-training by Chuck Norris. Anyway, that guy *points to Zant* sais youre a sissy, a wimp-

Chuck Norris: Oh thats not enough to make me ma-

Jak:-and that your beard is stupid.

Chuck Norris: *PWNS Zant*

Jak: *kneels* Master.

Chuck Norris: *nods* Pupil. *dissapears*

Aly: *Whips out bazooka* Ganon. Run.

Ganon: *craps his pants and runs*

Aly: *PWNS Ganon* Ilia! *hands her bomb* Defuse bomb NOW!!! Everyone else in the shelter!! *Everyone else goes to shelter*

Jak: How much time doe-*explosion*

Aly: Ten seconds.

Jak: I see.

Everyone: *goes out and sees Ilia PWNED by the bomb*

Auther: Is today-*gets PWNED by Jak*

Jak: PWNtober? Yes. *snaps fingers and everything is back to normal, AKA more screwed up*

Aly: Naomi, cookie, cookie, Naomi. *gives Naomi cookie*

Naomi: Yeah. No. Im not comin outta the story as long as Jak loves me. *kisses Jak on the cheek*

Jak: *eye twitch* I dont love you, I like you. But I enjoyed that kiss. *silly grin*

Aly and Twilight: Hello, other people here. *look at each other* Hey, thats my line!

Jak: No catfight. Anyway, Link. Zelda. Shelter. Now. *snaps his fingers*

Link and Zelda: *go in shelter*

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

1 painful, bloody, scream-filled hour la-tahh...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jak:3...2...1...now *looks in and sees Link and Zelda PWNED.* Uhh...Next!! *revives everyone and snaps fingers*

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

a couple hours la-tahh...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jak: *into an announcers mic* Well, Its been a long and hard battle (thats what she said) but it has now come down to 12 finalists!!! the scoreboard is:

Naruto vs Ilia while Saria fights winner

Sonic vs Silver while Gaara fights winner

Sasuke vs Itachi while Shadow fights winner

Link vs Postman(wait, what? Howd he get here?) While Snake fights winner

Jak: So lets start already!!!

Naruto: Ill win, Beli-

Jak: This isnt the dub building, Naruto.

Naruto: OH THANK YOU LORD!!!!! Anyway, Brace yourself, Ilia!!!

Ilia: Um, this guy looks strong, so I forfeit.

Saria: Me to.

Naruto: So..I win?

Jak: Yeah, by default.

Naruto: Hooray?

Jak: Okay, next fight.

Sonic: *PWNS Silver* Okay, I win. So now I go on to win!! heck ye- *crushed by Gaara*

Jak: Sweet!! I cant wait to watch the rest of-lazy time *hits button*

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

one "Eye of the tiger" montage la-tahh...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jak: Well, to recap the montage, Sasuke killed Itachi, but was defeated by Shadow, After which Link PWNED the postman and Snake, Putting him in the next round. Naruto and Gaara Stole the show, As they had over 2/3rds of the song on their battle, which Naruto won, and Link defeated Shadow, so now its Link vs Naruto.

Naruto: *taps Jaks shoulder* Actually, The fights already over, Seeing as how another montage went on when you were talking.

Jak: Oh, cool, you win Hinata!!! *pushes Hinata toward him, they make out, Jak sends them back ant=d turns everything back to normal* Okay, Next. In the shelter!!!!

Everyone listed on dare: *goes in shelter*

xxxxxxxxxxxx

5 days la-tahh

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Everyone: *goes out and sees Link, Zelda, and Ganon PWNED*

Jak: *snaps fingers, everythings normal* I have one from you, Phantom, but Im savin it till next time. Lates!!!


	10. My dad died

Hello my fans.

I know its against the rules to have a chapter solely a note by the author, but its urgent.

I wont be updating for a while because my father died.

He had surgery on his heart and it…stopped.

He was a good man and He will be missed, but I cannot tell you his name for privacy reasons.

He is in my familys hearts.

I will update when I will, but be patient.

Goodbye.

"Jaks" dad.

died August 20, 2009

He was a good man


	11. And a new start

Jak: *typing chapter* Aaaaaaaaand....DONE!!!! *computer explodes, and everyone (yes, everyone) dissapears, leaving Jak in an empty room* Oh No!!!! *poofs the zelda cast back to the room*

Link: Who're you?

Jak: Um...Im Jak.

Zelda: Whatre we doing here?

Jak: Oh boy. If they dont remember, the co-hosts dont remember.

Zant: *being random*

Jak: Well, looks like Im starting anew!! If you wanna be in, or be back in, send in those dares!!!

(I kinda felt like starting anew without deleting and reposting the story, so yeah. Also, even Naomi is gone.) 


	12. Acknowledgements and info

Jak: *typing up chapter*

Phantom: *comes in* You ready with the chapter?

Jak: Ye-no.

Phantom: Come on, its the new entire year, and you have-*dissappears*

Jak: *accidentially hit the delete key* Oh fuck. *Poofs Phantom back* Do you remember anything?

Phantom: Who're you?

Jak: Thats a no. *poofs Phantom out of fic* Well, Now Ive gotten bored. Hmm…I should take this time to acknowledge all the people who said Im sorry about my dad.

I know how you feel about family dying my great grandma died not long ago same with my grate grandpa

-phantomlink595

I'm sorry about your father, my great grandmother died on her birthday,7-8-09,may she rest in peace,she died from cancer.I wish the best for you,I'm sorry for your lost.

-ShadowWolf2.X

i'm sorry for your loss dude... but time heals all wounds i hear

-Toball

*sniff* Im sorry your dad died, i mean like he didnt do anything wrong he was just having surgrey...

-Supershadow343

I'm so sorry about your dad. I hope that you feel better soon. My grandpa died May 28, 2007. Sometimes it feels as if he just died yesterday. *sniff* I've got tears coming just thinking about him.

-Laterose

i know how you feel when i was very little my grandma died and i wasnt told anything about it at all so i do hope you feel better

-apola55

oh god im so sorry to hear about your father! that must be rough...i can't do much but tell you that i feel really bad for you.

-crouchingninjahiddddenwolf

Jak: *sniff* Thanks to you all who commented, and FUCK YOU who don't care that he died. Anyway, Im not doing any dares yet, because I need to know a bit about you. So, if you wanna be in, just tell me your;

Personality

Appearance

Jak: and that's it. This is Jak the Jackass signing off.

**Heya! The newly named Jak Attack-kun here!!! I have openings!!! Okay, you will see some changes around here. For starters, you may have cameo appearances here and there, like I may say that you busted the door down and gave me your review or something.**

**I already have 1 request for a co-host by CNHW (crouchingninjahiddenwolf) and if phantom puts his info up, he'll stay in too. That leaves 2 spots left for co-hosts.**

**Also, I am changing up the review look a little bit. This is what it looked like before:**

Bla Bla Bla Bla Review Review and a bag of chips.

-Namey McNamerson

**And this is what it will look like now:**

**---**Namey McNamerson---

Bla Bla Bla Bla Review Review and a bag of chips.

---Namey McNamerson---

Also, I have a new poll up on my profile. What should my newest ToD be, Naruto, SSBB, or Left 4 dead?

**ALSO, there is a website called fanficunderground that is trying for dominance over because of 's stupid rules. And guess what? It has Jack's fic on it!!! Go check it out.**

**FINALLY, I am doing lyric games again. Here's the lyric's Im gonna give you;**

Run baby run!

Don't ever look back!

They'll tear us apart if,

You give them the chance!

Don't sell your heart,

Don't say we're not meant to be

Run baby run!

Forever we'll be

You and me

Whoever can guess it will get an extra-special cameo appearance if its not one of my co-hosts.

**Well, this is Jak-kun, over and out!!!**

**PS keybladeboy finally updated his ToD!!! WOO!!!**


	13. Season 2 The Returning Chronocles Pilot

_In the beginning...it began as nothing special..._

_"__narutofan12345678: typetypetype wathe? o ya im in my fanfic."_

_Just a dime-a-dozen ToD..._

_"Jak:YES HIGH SCORE ON HALO- wait are we rolling?_

_Twilight: COOKIE!_

_Jak: thats not a cookie thats my hand and it doesnt even look like a co-OW!"_

_But it grew..._

_"Jak: *sniff* Ive got more readers...Im not lonely anymore!"_

_It became popular. Funnier. Better._

_"Jak: *wakes up slowly* Ahh...what a lovely morning. The sun is shining, (shine shine) The birds are chirping, (chirp chirp) Navi is duct taped, (muffled muffled) And Naomi is sleeping next to m-Get your own bed *shoves Naomi off*"_

_Though there was some hostility..._

_"AHEM:_

Interactive stories and script format stories are not allowed on the site, period. On top of that, ruining the Zelda archive with this pointless, un-funny stupidity infuriates me. As you are breaking the rules twice over, I suggest you remove the story before it is removed for you. A report is only a click away, it's your choice.

-Esper"

_Jak kept writing..._

_"Jak: *still using auther powers and keyboard to do stuff* Im loving this so much!"_

_But as he hit a hiatus, one review inspired him to reboot..._

_And here it is._

_The Legend of Zelda; The Truths and the Dares._

_SEASON 2._

(As the camera fades to the show, You see debris leftover from war. It is very dusty. the camera walks forward to show you a building. It seems to be barely standing.

You see the camera turning to look at a wall shot off from the tragedy. The picture zooms, and the room looks much like the ToD room.

The picture cuts to a grave. It is vague at first, but as it gets closer, you can start to see the writing.

...a... ...t...a... ...9... ... ...10

...ak ...tta... ...9...6 - ...10

...ak ...tta...k 19...6 - 2...10

Jak Attack 1996 - 2010

Realization dawns on you. You step back out of surprise. As darkess befalls the screen, you walk back, further, further, until...)

Offscreen voice: Okay, where are we?

(The camera turns around to show Jak, Naomi, and an unrecognizeable character.)

Naomi: I think we're on the set for Fallout 3.

Jak(Offscreen voice): Well, this isn't right. Good thing we haven't run into any deathclaws, or Mirelurks, or something.

(Just then, a herd of Deathclaws, Mirelurks, and Somethings appear, running toward our three.)

Naomi: ...I hate you.

Jak: Run!

(Cut to a white room, Jak is to the right of the camera, and on the left you see Naomi and the unrecognizeable character trying to keep a door closed.)

Jak: Hi everybody! We're just experiencing a little technical difficulties at the moment, but we'll try to get back as fast as we ca-

Naomi: Oh will you just shut up and help us hold up the door!

Jak: In a minute! Anyway, we're trying to get back to our set, so we can answer your requests-

UC(Unrecognizeable Character): But we got lost!

Jak: We'll get back as soon as we can!

Naomi: Oh just help us!

Jak: Alright I'm co-

(The camera shuts off.)

**Okay, so I need to explain. I'd like to focus on a story, so I'm not doing dares or truths. If you can't tell, our three are lost in different places. How'd they get lost? Will they get back? Will anyone read this? Find out on LoZ ToD Season 2; The Return Chronicles!**


End file.
